Sunday, October 7, 2012

21st Century teen years celebrity
nominations for sainthood

Was looking at the whole Catholic sainthood nominating and selection process recently. Think it is time for 21st Century teen years nominations.
St. Steve of Apple
Apple II

That's enough to get him sainthood!

St. Lindsay the Fire Crotch

Incredibly, she's still alive. Good enough for sainthood.

 St. Kim the Kardashian

As Barbara Walters noted, she doesn't sing, she doesn't dance, she doesn't act. She has one of the most popular television shows, leads you in Twitter and Facebook numbers. Ironic what a sex tape can do to get you canonized.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

How to Save Two and a Half Men

The ninth season of Two and a Half men has probably not produced one laugh. The acting is superb, but the writing stinks.

Reportedly the show has been approved for a 10th season - miracles do happen.

It is time to bring new life into the show.

Walden Schmidt's new venture is sold. He gave Alan Harper 100 shares, that are now worth millions. To show his appreciation to Alan (and get him out of the home with his new bride, Zoey), Walden buys Alan Goldie Hawn's and Kurt Russell's home that is three doors away from Walden. It cost $15-million, so Alan is thankful.

Walden has also become a business school professor at Pepperdine, right near his - and Harper's - beachfront homes. He's able to get Jake Harper and his best friend Eldridge Makelroy into the college. They move in with Alan Harper, hence, they are now the two men and Alan's half.

The show needs a new executive producer. Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner are still alive - get them to bring the Dick Van Dyke charm to the show, or Rob Reiner or Tom Hanks. Fire all the writers and start new.

Since Eldridge and Jake live in a beach house - a celebrity beach house - they are asked into the best fraternity at Pepperdine, where they have access to the finest sorority girls. Jake, being a Harper, could be like his Uncle Charlie.

Better yet, after seeing what Walden has done, Jake and Eldridge get involved in startup funding enterprises and buckle down in their studies, become good role models for teenagers, a focus the show could shift to.

Imagine Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato and all the hot stars that Jake and Eldridge could be dating. Turn Two and a Half Men into the show where stars have to be on it.

A recurring part could be Kate Hudson comes to Alan's new home, looking for a photograph she's sure is still in a closet. She and Alan start dating.

Ironically, Berta is also a house mother of a sorority at Pepperdine, where Jake and Eldridge go pick up their dates.

Another option is to go back to when Alan was the Evil Alan at the end of season eight, the year Charlie Sheen left the show.